Dealing With Losing a Pet

Families really value their pets. They become more than pets in most cases. Pets are just like members of the family. This is why losing a pet can be so traumatic. In some situations pets are lost due to accident. Car accidents are normally responsible for these types of losses. Other pets die as a result of sickness.

These are some of the most difficult losses. Some families have a pet that dies naturally due to old age. Although this is a difficult loss, it is one of the easiest to understand. The different members of a family are affected by the loss of a pet. Each person should be allowed to grieve in their own way.

This is particularly difficult when there are children in the family. Children often do not understand why a pet is no longer around. In many households, children are the closest members to a pet. For this reason, parents must assist children through this process. Patience is the key factor when these losses are suffered.

Losing a pet often occurs unexpectedly. This presents a shocking situation to families. Single pet owners also have a struggle with this loss. There are useful techniques to address this situation when it occurs. Let's take a look at ways to handle this type of pet loss.

Hold a memorial for your pet

Families often find that having a memorial ceremony for their pet is effective. This offers every member of the family a way to mourn together. It is also a time to really remember the things that you loved about your pet. A memorial is all about honoring the life of your pet and remembering the good times.

Purposely remember your pet

Some people think that remembering your pet is too painful. Whether you purposely do so or not, it is difficult not to think about your lost pet. So, instead of avoiding these memories, let them come naturally. This is a good tool for mourning this loss. Children often want to talk about their emotions related to the pet. Parents must be available for these conversations.

Discuss how the loss affects you

More than likely your pet played an instrumental role in your family. It had a relationship with each member individually. A healthy way to mourn your pet is to talk about it. Instead of outlawing this activity, allow it as a natural course in this loss. Some families set aside special times to discuss their pets.

Take time to mourn

Everyone mourns in a different and unique way. Some people are able to recover more easily than others. Allowing each person their time to mourn is wise. This may be an uncomfortable situation in some instances. Families also find this process quite sad. It is one of the healthy aspects to this loss and remembering your pet.

Consider a new pet

In time you should consider a new pet. Giving your love to a new pet will certainly take some time. It is possible to use your mourning process in this way. Some families immediately get a new pet. Others wait until everyone in the family is ready for this addition.

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Understanding Human Grief in Dealing with the Death of a Pet

My aunt was a cat lover who lived with us up to the time when I was six years old. She brought in all the strays and tended to them in the spare room downstairs or inside the enclosed porch. I don't quite remember grieving over a pet at that early age, probably because--earlier at the age of three--I had had a fit and cried for days after witnessing a stray dog kill a baby chick. After that incident, my family became overly protective of me.

Later, when my grey tabby cat died, some people made fun of me when I became too sick with sorrow to attend school for a while, even though I was a good student and didn't like missing school. I had other pets in my life during the following decades, but I could neither forget my Smoky nor the disappointment I felt for being misunderstood.

When a human passes away, grieving is understood and even expected. Yet, there is little or no understanding of the sorrow we feel when our pet--to whom we feel as close as or even closer than a family member--dies or has to be put away.

For many people, a pet is not just a pet, but an extension of the person, answering our need of being needed. Our pets provide us with playful companionship, and through their special sensory abilities, they understand and commiserate with our struggles and challenges in life. Pets are therapists in their own right because they deal with us on a one-to-one basis, and in addition, they are the best medicine for the elderly. Taking all this into account, when the bond with a pet is broken in such a sad way as death, isn't it normal to fall apart and mourn?

In the writing site I belong to, there are many animal lovers who sometimes lose their pets. When that happens, the other members listen to the deceased pet's owner, empathize, and then, validate his or her grief. In such a case, or in any other kind of mourning, validation of grief is the most important aid one can give to a friend. Suggesting to the friend to get rest and to take it easy for a while is the next step in the right direction of guiding him to learn to live life without his pet.

When it comes to grieving over pets, children are the most vulnerable. Hiding a pet's disappearance with the hope that the child will forget is the worst thing adults can do, since children can carry inside themselves many hidden sorrows that may taint their lives for a very long time. If a pet is terminally ill and it has to be put away, letting the child know of the pet's condition ahead of time is the correct thing to do. When children feel and express their sadness publicly in a supportive setting, they can accept future losses better.

When a child loses a pet, it isn't a good idea to force another pet on him immediately, unless he asks for it. Otherwise, he may grow up feeling that a loss from a death is not meaningful, and everyone is replaceable including himself.

If you are the friend of a pet owner whose pet has died, send a card or flowers to validate your friend's feelings, and then, spend more time with him. Never ever say that the pet that died was only a pet and he can get another one just like the pet he lost. Instead, let him know you are there for him, should he feel like talking. Encourage him to attend to his personal everyday care. If you hear or know of a pet-loss support group in your area, encourage your friend to attend. If there is one place where misery loves company, it is in such a group.

May you and your pets live a long and happy life.

This article has been submitted by Joy Cagil in affiliation with http://www.PetLovers.Com/ which is a site for Pet Forums. Joy Cagil is an author on http://www.writing.com.